Asking Your Therapist Their Opinion

Sometimes I like to play a little game with my therapist. I like to ask him playfully “so, what do YOU think?”

And of course, disciplined as he is, he almost never answers the question. He usually figures out a way to turn that curiosity I have back into a question for me.

I feel that tension in my coaching relationships too. There is a tension between working through tough issues yourself, and wanting someone else to just tell you the answer. Wouldn’t that be so much easier?

Sometimes all you want is the validation from someone else you trust that you’re on the right track.

Unfortunately, as a coach, it’s rare I can offer a “right” answer. For one, most questions I discuss with clients are not black and white.

And secondly, while it is my job to create space for a client to work through today’s challenge, it’s not my only job.

Working with clients to develop and trust their own wisdom is a cornerstone of my coaching engagements. And creating a dynamic where a client is relying on my opinions to solve their problems would not be in service of that.

So the next time you are speaking to your therapist, coach or friend, instead of asking them for their opinion “what should I do?”  consider how they might help you tap into your own wisdom.

It’s not the easy way out, but it is an investment in your capacity that transcends the challenge of the moment.